Stop Attracting the Wrong Man

By Amy J. Waterman

Stop Attracting the Wrong Man

So, I’m going to throw out a few situations that come up with men that you might be wondering how to handle. Then I’m going to show you what to do in these situations.

Let’s get started…

Here are some of the most common questions, statements, and scenarios that women I’ve talked to and helped in my seminars and programs talk about… See if you identify with any of these:

– “I don’t have a problem meeting men, but I seem to attract all the WRONG GUYS. Why is this?”

– “I’ve been hurt before, and I don’t feel like getting back out there and dating again. How do I get myself to a place where I can open up to a man again and go about this?”

– “I’d love to be with a great guy and enjoy a close and loving relationship … but there don’t seem to be any good single guys around. Where can I meet a genuinely good guy?”

– “The moment I finally do see or meet a great guy, I get nervous and uncertain and I don’t really know what to do or say to get his attention and interest. What should I do, and how do I know if a guy is interested?”

– “I’ve heard that other women have met their boyfriends or husbands online, but online dating is not for me.” Or… “I tried online dating and it didn’t work for me.”

Let’s get right to the first scenario and the question that goes along with it –

Scenario #1: “I don’t have a problem meeting men, but I seem to attract all the WRONG GUYS. Why is this?”

If I had a nickel for every time a woman shared this experience with me … then I’d be VERY well off.

The fascinating part is that almost every woman who shares this experience seems to believe she’s one of the only “unlucky” women around who has this problem.

Meanwhile… TONS of other women have this exact same problem of dating all the “wrong men.”

What’s going on here?

Let’s break the situation down and take a closer look. I’ll start from the very beginning…

You meet a guy, you feel a strong level of chemistry and connection for him, and you get involved with him. Then comes your first mistake –

Only AFTER THE FACT, once you’ve already become sexual and intimate with him, do you start to find out who he REALLY IS and what he REALLY WANTS – He wants his “freedom.”

Or…

He’s not looking for a “serious relationship” right now.

Or…

“It’s not you, it’s him. He’s just not ready.” Of course, hearing this AFTER you’ve already spent time with a man, become intimate, and grown more and more ATTACHED to him is a total WHACK upside the head for you.

I’m betting at least one of these reasons a man can give for NOT wanting to be with you sounds strangely familiar.

If you’ve had this happen to you with a man, and perhaps had it happen more than once… the question is how come this kind of thing is so common with men?

How come a man will PULL AWAY even when you really hit it off and there’s a great relationship right in front of you both?

And why do so many men so often use these same “excuses”?

Is it because men really and truly are AFRAID OF RELATIONSHIPS?

Or is there something else going on?

Something a little deeper than a man suddenly pulling away out of fear, or for no good reason at all.

I’m going to suggest to you that there is in fact something else going on at a deeper level.

The best place to start is to address the  idea or belief that way too many men are afraid  of relationships.

I have a very different perspective on this than you might have heard before.

I DON’T believe that men are afraid of real relationships. Not at all.

I believe that men simply don’t care much about relationships until they feel and experience that intense flood of EMOTIONS that takes over their body and mind.

And that flood of feelings and emotions that takes over a man’s thoughts and desires, and is capable of literally causing a man to do a complete 180 degree turn away from his prior wants and beliefs, is commonly referred to as ATTRACTION.

Of course, when I’m talking about this kind of powerful and transformative force… I’m not just talking about your run of the mill “Physical Attraction.”

A man can experience that 3 times a day simply by laying eyes on a woman.

This kind of Physical Attraction has very  little to do with WHY a man will want a REAL RELATIONSHIP with a woman (although it is also a necessary component).

In other words, there’s something else a man must experience with a woman that goes DEEPER than just that PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.

And if you don’t know what this other thing is, how it works, and how to create it inside a man once you’re getting to know each other and “dating”… then it’s going to be VERY DIFFICULT for a close, loving, and lasting relationship to come together.

To put it bluntly, without this “other level of attraction”… a man just isn’t going to feel it for you in a way that will have him pursuing you for more and wanting to get even closer to you.

Instead, he’ll simply be satisfied with spending time here and there with you on a “casual” basis… and he won’t have much interest or desire to get much closer to you in love and a relationship.

This is how a man works.

If he doesn’t FEEL IT with you… then no amount of TALKING to him about opening up or COMMITMENT is going to move things along.

In fact, if you try and talk your way into a relationship with a man “logically”… odds are it’s going to completely BACKFIRE and he’s going to become increasingly DISTANT and  eventually pull away altogether.

You’ve seen this happen before.

Don’t keep making the same mistake so many other women make trying to CONVINCE a man to engage in a relationship… when the only way a man truly gets involved and STAYS with a woman is when the emotional experiences he’s having with a woman (the deeper attraction) tells him that this is the one woman for him.

Ok, back to it.

Are men really afraid of relationships? I’ll give it to you straight: I don’t believe that men are inherently afraid of or resistant to “real relationships”-
even though I’m sure you have your own “proof” to the contrary. Here’s how I know I’m right…

How many times have you known a man who was a friend, or dated a man, who was intent on staying single… and even shunned what could have been a great relationship with an amazing woman just because he didn’t want a “serious relationship”?

But then, just a few weeks or months later, that man met another woman. And within just a few weeks with this new woman he was COMPLETELY SPRUNG and head over heels for her… and he was BEGGING HER for a committed relationship?

Fascinating…

If you’re like most women, then you’ve seen several men you know do this “instant switch” thing where all of a sudden they want a serious relationship… when all they could talk about before was being “on their own.”

Here’s the reality…

Most men are never “ready” for a relationship.

It’s not until they FEEL the magical feelings and experiences with a woman that tell them that “Hey, this is the woman for me” do most men want a relationship.

To make a long story short… love and a LASTING RELATIONSHIP are very rarely DECISIONS that a man makes or plans for.

Love and a lasting relationship is something that a man discovers when a woman affects him in a deep, intense, emotional way to where he literally makes a “shift”… and his old conscious and “logical” thoughts of wanting to wait are simply overcome with his DESIRE.

It’s amazing how people (and men) really work.

And it’s even wilder that no one ever stopped to tell us these things about human nature.

Now, you might be asking yourself… “How does this all relate to the initial question of how come so many women choose the wrong men?”

Here’s how… Just like a man, when a woman FEELS that intense physical AND emotional connection with a man… she’s often carried away by it.

And when this happens, something fascinating takes place inside the minds and bodies of most women… They start to believe that the CONNECTION they feel with a man is in and of itself PROOF that this is a “special” situation that is going to become a deeper relationship… and that the man must be sharing these same feelings.

When the truth is that, to a man, the CONNECTION that they feel with a woman early on can have nothing to do with whether or not they want a RELATIONSHIP with a woman.

A man who DOESN’T yet feel like he wants a relationship with a woman can do the following:

– Call a woman, spend time with her, and get physically and sexually involved with her

– Compliment her, tell her she’s beautiful, and buy her gifts or bring her flowers

– Spend time with her over a period of weeks or months and still think of things as “casually dating” with no commitment or “relationship”

What I’m getting at here is that there’s a DANGER in “dating” if you don’t understand  how men think and behave when it comes to dating and what constitutes a “relationship” to a man.

I call this “The Danger Of A Connection.”

It’s because of the connection that you feel with a man, you mistakenly believe and start acting as though he’s interested in a more serious relationship, when he’s not there yet in his mind. (By the way – this is one of the quickest ways to make a man PULL AWAY and kill the ATTRACTION he might have been feeling for you and stop what you had growing between you dead in it’s tracks.)

I can’t tell you how many women meet a great guy, feel that spark, spend time with a man and share affection… and then totally MISUNDERSTAND his desire for a relationship because they become convinced that he must share the same feelings they have.

And this is the number one complaint I hear from great women – that they meet a great guy, hit it off, they get close and intimate, and then the guy backs off and they think “Argggh! Why do I always pick these same loser commitment-phobes!?!”

If you’re reading this right now and thinking, “I can TOTALLY relate to this”… I want to help you quickly turn things around.

To put an end to the Ups-and-Downs of dating, and to finally have the amazing love life you want and deserve, I’ve put together what might be the best, single, easy to get your hands on and use resource around- In my Book you’ll not only learn to get to THE ROOT of this problem when dating and connecting with men and having them PULL AWAY or turn out to be anything but the right guy for you.

Dating doesn’t have to be filled with “games,” uncertainty, or even “drama”… if you know how a man thinks and what to do to truly connect with a man on a deep level and start the kind of real relationship you want.

It would be great if you could simply skip the dating process and dive right into a safe and secure loving relationship. I would want that for you…

But that’s not how things start off.

To quickly give yourself a real-world education of how a man becomes ATTRACTED to a woman, how he sees her as “the one” for him… and what makes his desire for her LAST, I STRONGLY SUGGEST you check out my eBook right now.

(Courtesy Mind Of Man)

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