Basic Truths that Transcend Cultures

culture truths

As I have grown older, traveled to different parts of the world and interacted with a wide spectrum of people, I now realize that some of the words of wisdom we heard from parents and teachers while growing up have turned out to be quite true; although I must admit that back in the day they had sometimes sounded ‘irrelevant’ and ‘senseless’ in some cases, and even downright ridiculous. After countless ‘ah ha’ moments, I must now agree with the African saying: “What an old man sees sitting down, a young man cannot see standing up”.

As I continue to dance to the tune of life, I am struck by the fact that in societies that are very different from the one I grew up in Cameroon, where the standards of living are as opposite as the color black is to white, those childhood words of caution have made all the difference for me and many others.

Regardless of culture, race, gender, social standing, nationality, there are basic threads that connect humanity – such as a parent’s love for their child, a person’s need for acceptance, the longing for justice, etc – and also in that equation, ‘basic truths that transcend our cultures’. Here are 7 of them:

1. He who reads, never grows old
Reading opens up the mind to endless possibilities and feeds the soul. Whether it’s newspapers, magazines, romance novels, thrillers, blogs, personal development books, academic material, etc the importance of reading can never be underscored enough.

There is no answer that’s not be found in books, no experience we can’t live through reading. In remote areas where books are a rarity, parents and grandparents mold the minds of the younger generation by telling captivating tales and stories, usually by the fireside on warm nights.

According to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD), “reading is the single most important skill necessary for a happy, productive and successful life. A child that is an excellent reader is a confident child, has a high level of self esteem and is able to easily make the transition from learning to read to reading to learn.”

It is almost impossible for the one who reads to feel caged-in, completely hopeless or even lost. Reading simply liberates! It is our duty to pass it on to the next generation.

2. Keep family and friends close always
The saying “blood is thicker than water” comes to mind as I write these notes.

As children, we are naturally taught to respect our parents and protect our siblings. Then as we grow into adults, we meet friends who bring so much sunshine into our lives as we explore and discover new things together. Although these relationships may not always go smoothly, the one thing that is sure is that ‘nothing ever replaces the love of a caring relative and the warmth of true friendship’.

It is wise to protect these meaningful relationships from the caustic effects of the dreams we chase, and drama of life in general. At the end of the day, “what goes around comes around”; many have found themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere with no one to turn to because somewhere along the line, they burned important bridges. Guard your relationships.

3. All that glitters is not gold
When you look at somebody else’s life, do you wish it was yours? If yes, think again. The reality is that, if you were to swap places, you just may find out that keeping the grass “that green” on the other side is no piece of cake.  Let others inspire you, but strive to find yourself first, to carve out your own unique niche. Everything in life comes at a price, there are certainly no perfect situations. Yes, we all have dreams, we all aspire to be better, but keep in mind that some of the glamorous images/personas presented to us are not always real.

In almost every society, people try to lure others into all kinds of things, promising financial security, a better life, exotic cars— while some of these claims may be legit, be careful! Many have found themselves trapped in situations they wished they had never gotten into.

Be ambitious, yet wise at the same time. As Desiderata says, “Exercise caution in your business affairs for everywhere life is full of trickery.. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism”

4. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop
“The economy is slow, jobs are few, forecasts are depressing, and my options are so very limited!” Do you find such thoughts running through your mind sometimes? Get busy! Finding ways to stay occupied and productive can be daunting in this economic climate —but remember that opportunities often have to be seized or even created. Nothing happens for those who sit back and wait, except that they grow old waiting.

I remember my mother always working with her hands during our childhood years; sewing, knitting, and doing all kinds of crafts, some of which we sold for extra money. The sense of accomplishment as we learned to create these delicate designs instilled confidence in us.  My mother-in-law was one of those hardworking mothers who actually put her children through school by supplementing her teaching income by selling ‘alaska’ (popsicles).

So why it is that our parents worked so hard, yet our generation tends to expect things to be handed to them? Put your talents to work. Use your hands. Success starts with small ideas that grow through persistent effort.

5. Faith moves mountains
Human beings are spiritual beings living in a physical body, I believe. Being grounded in the belief of a higher being helps us set boundaries in life, provides direction and a sense of purpose. Some call it God, others the universe. Personally I am a Christian and I have found that my faith in God and belief that I can achieve anything through Him has helped me conquer ‘mountains’. Faith brings meaning into otherwise meaningless situations.

6. Money can’t buy you love
… or can it? What an age-old debate! Before I continue, permit me to rephrase this into: “Money can’t buy you happiness”. Can it?

What I have learned is that money does makes life easier, money makes life more enjoyable, in many instances it has been the difference between life and death. In many ways, money is a necessity. But does it really come packaged with happiness? Why is it that some of the richest people are also amongst the most unhappy?

I would say, happiness comes from learning to appreciate life and the things we have … even as we strive for more. Which might explain why some of our happiest life moments may have happened when we didn’t have a lot of money, but had great friends. Seek happiness from within, not from material things.

7. Travel!
I remember looking forward to school breaks as a child. Mainly because there was a chance our parents would send us off ‘to go spend holidays’ with relatives or family friends. We were excited to visit other cities and proud to tell our friends: “I spent the holidays with my uncle in Yaounde,” or wherever it was.

Whether international, or national, experiencing another’s world expands ours into 3-D. Mentally and spiritually, we expand, our perspectives change and we become less judgmental, more mature and oooo, not so ignorant! It’s refreshing, eye-opening, educative, exciting and adds so much meaning to life. Travel makes you rich … on the inside.

My 7 points begin and end with activities that feed our minds: reading and traveling, the others are really just experiences in between. What gets into our minds determines the quality of our lives …whoever we are, wherever we live.

Our parents were right, weren’t they? I daresay, the values that bind humanity are really more similar than we think. Do you agree? Would you like to share a truth I left out? Please share your thoughts.

(First published in DUNIA print Magazine – Issue 1)

Lema is on Twitter: @LemaAbeng; Website www.lemaabeng.com

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