The Two Facets of the Same Coin: Culture and Self
Have you ever thought about writing about yourself? What would come first to mind? Is it possible that you have long thought of yourself as just another human being with no ‘accomplishments’ in life?
But when you really think about, you will be amazed at the depth of knowledge you have gained during your life journey.
My values and beliefs are the outcome of my culture and upbringing. In fact, talking about one’s culture cannot be taken out of the context of ‘self’. Since I am no sociologist, I think that my efforts to write about my Eastern culture just might turn into a mess. But I still will give it a try.
In Egypt my homeland, victory goes to whatever is eastern and conservative. So, an Eastern girl is typically loving, tender, cute, conservative, prudent, shy, honest and submissive. However, my parents took it one notch further by adding ambitious, outstanding, creative and unique to the ingredients of my character. They very much believe that a girl should not merely be a sister, wife and mother; she should not always dedicate herself to ‘others’, but she’s got to be herself first. Here I am again mixing what is cultural with what is personal! You see what I mean?
I think of myself as a typical eastern girl, not only due to my dark looks, but also because of the values we share in this part of the world:
# 1: I pay TOO much attention to what people think. Although I might seem independent, I tend to look up to people around me (more than I should). Their thoughts of me shape my views about myself. My most desperate moments are when a friend criticizes me; alternatively, my most joyous moments are when people pay me compliments. I don’t like hypocrites though, I only appreciate honest opinions.
# 2: Treat everyone equal. When I was a child, I used to play this weird game with the 5 fingers of my hand (I refer to it as the game of justice). The thumb was crowned judge over all the other fingers, because of its anatomic difference. This Judge had to be just and fair to all his subjects; so whenever he touched one finger, he had to make sure to touch the other three! — and I would play this game dozens of times a day, touching each finger with my thumb repeatedly! This breed honesty in me, a value instilled by my upbringing. Now as a mother, I fear to kiss one of my kids differently from the other. I know this sounds weird but it also helped me perform jobs the way they ought to be done, paying attention to detail.
# 3: Be the nurturer. The culture here really molds women into perfect cooks, great homemakers, devoted mothers, faithful wives and sexy females; unfortunately much emphasis isn’t laid on being innovative and creative. Personally, I try so hard to contradict this aspect.
# 4: Slim and thinner. I know that losing weight is a worldwide mania – a fashion and beauty trend. However, I think it’s a mere manifestation of inner insecurities in ladies from my part of the world. Women are taught to be dependent – first on their parents, then on their husbands and even later on their children. Most women never really find that feeling of being totally secure, independent human beings – there are always expectations that make her more dependent on the approval of others in order to feel safe and assured. Losing weight to fit a certain image is just one more of those things.
# 5: We all have fears. This is a global issue that is customized according to each individual personality. My greatest fear is to fail. I have high expectations of myself – to be successful on a personal and social level. I want to be a great writer, creative translator, as well as faithful wife, perfect mother, beautiful woman and attentive daughter.
In writing about culture, one can never separate the personal from everything else. We all identify with parts of this article in some way, regardless of who we are and what our culture is. I don’t like dividing the world into sections of the east and the west; because in the end we are all human beings.
Imane is on Twitter: @Imane2express
Imane Fawzy Nofal is a translator, and mother of twin boys. She is an Egyptian who lives in Bahrain and blogs at Express It 2 Live It. Imane regularly shares her thoughts on human interactions and real life issues on DUNIA through her column Express it by Imane. Imane’s first language is Arabic.
