In Pursuit of a Meaningful Life: Gideon For-mukwai 

What's your story? Tell us in your own words...

Gideon, can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

My name is Gideon For-Mukwai For-mukwai, I am from the North West region of Cameroon. I am an international trainer, specialized in emergency and crisis management. I help companies understand the challenges of managing a disaster and how to recover from disasters in such a way that they don’t lose much in terms of finances, resources, reputation and most importantly – human lives. I currently live in Reno Nevada.

I know you have traveled around the world, lived, worked and done business in several cities. What are those cities and what have your experiences been like?

My modest travels and understanding of a variety of cultures have taken me from Cameroon to different parts of the world. I lived in Johannesburg, South Africa, where I worked for a Boston-based company called IDG News Service, involved in information technology and telecommunication research. It was difficult to call Johannesburg home because of the violence and crime of the post-apartheid era. So I moved to Gaborone, Botswana, where I worked for the same company for 2 years.

From Botswana, I moved to Singapore in South East Asia – where I studied information technology, but decided to switch my career path after a couple of semesters when I decided to work for the government of Singapore. I worked for the Singapore Civil Defense Force and then resigned from the job to set up my own company, which I managed until 2006, then I moved to Orlando, Florida to help set up the training division for an emergency management company; a company similar to the one that I owned in Singapore. This company didn’t last for too long, so I moved from Orlando to Reno, Nevada, where I went back to graduate school. I completed graduate school last year, 2009. I have gone back to running my own small business – Xtramile Solutions.

In essence, I would say my journey has been from Africa to Asia and from Asia to America, and in between several countries in the Middle East and Europe where I help train businesses on emergency and crisis management.

Can you tell us something about your childhood and the values that were instilled in you?

Two main people who have shaped my life from childhood would be my mom, and my most senior brother who helped me through my teenage years in high school. Mom, a widow, taught me one thing that I would never forget: that regardless of the challenges that I face, I should never turn a blind eye to any person around me who needs help. And at the same time, I must never fail to try to overcome challenges before asking for any help. This inspired me very much to work hard, and to always remember to be caring, kind and considerate to those around me. From my brother, I learned very importantly, that I must never look back; I must always look forward with faith and hard work, regardless of how tough things get. These values have actually shaped me very much.

In those countries where you have lived, how were the people? How was their culture? What stood out about them?

South Africa is very different from my home country Cameroon. I noticed very quickly that almost every segment of the population was different. While I was working for IDG News Service, I took on another job with a local South African company called “HR Training,” where I worked with many South Africans – mainly Caucasians and a few black Africans. I immediately began to notice that both groups approached work differently. The whites were clearly brought up with the western mindset toward work. I could relate to both groups. As a black African, I could relate to the black South Africans because of my African culture. While in college, I had had the opportunity to interact and work with foreign students from countries like Sweden, Finland, USA, Belgium, Denmark and Australia through an organization that I had founded known as the International Association of Students in Economics Management (AIESEC). Through this organization, I was able to acquire a very different mindset towards work from the international students. For example, I learned to respect time and be prompt; I also learned to complete the job before pleasure. As you may know, that is not always true in some parts of Africa.

In South Africa, although the two main racial groups – white and black got along well at the workplace, I noticed the blacks approached work and pleasure differently from the whites.

Navigating both worlds as a foreigner was not easy, and I had to be sensitive to the cultural implications of taking sides. It was challenging for me. I constantly had to find polite ways to encourage them to get the job done without being offensive. Along the way, I figured out that by listening, I could find ways to inspire or incentivize them to do as much work as possible.

Working in a foreign culture takes time and you don’t always have to be very smart; sometimes all we have to do is listen, observe and ask questions.

In Singapore, I was again immersed in a very different culture – the oriental culture, which is very different from the African and western cultures that I was familiar with. I was trained to work as a Commission Officer for the Singapore Civil Defense Force. On every given day, I had to supervise about 30 – 35 colleagues of all ages, out of which 2/3 were Malays (from Malaysia), 1/3 were Chinese, and the rest were Caucasians, Indians etc. As an African, I understood that I had a reputation of hard work to uphold. I also had to find ways to work with every group, to make them feel comfortable to approach me when they had issues. I therefore had to learn about them – paying a lot of attention to things like their cuisine and special holidays that were important to the Malay and the Chinese cultures. I went out of my way to use those holidays as opportunities to understand each other’s culture better. By celebrating their cultures and the things that are important to them, the diverse cultural values became a cause for celebration, not division. For example, during certain periods of the year, the Malay had to fast for about 4 weeks, this could easily have posed problems, but I did not insist on a certain amount of work that they had to do. We found ways to work around this; we also celebrated Cameroon’s National Day on May 20. They were excited to learn about Cameroonian culture and I always did a colorful presentation about Cameroon: the food, the people, the dialects, crafts, etc.

Along the way, the fact that I was a neutral party, neither Malay nor Chinese, helped us get along better and forge a strong and cohesive unit because I did not judge them. Instead, I came across as someone who was willing to learn about them. It paid off big time! They too were proud to work with a guy from a different culture and lots of people came to them to ask questions about Africa and me.

I have learned that no culture is better than the other, although all of us have different ways of expressing ourselves and doing things.

In the US, what immediately struck me when I first moved here — I realized that the same things I did in Asia that didn’t get much validation, got a lot of recognition and appreciation in the US. Here, I have also very much learned that using words of appreciation often help more than using bland words. I enjoy working and living with diverse groups.

It has never been difficult for me to tap into the very best of a culture and work with people and find ways to get along. I learned much of that in Cameroon that has over 300 different ethnic groups.

One thing that you said stood out, and that’s the fact that no culture is better than the other and if many of us just stop for a moment and evaluate the lessons we have learned, we will realize how rich we are to have tapped into all these different cultures. Gideon, if you don’t mind, can you tell us how old you are, what motivates you to keep reaching for higher heights.

I am 38 years old, but I feel like I am 18; it sounds like vanity, but that is true. My greatest motivation is work. I love to work and that underlies my desire to be of positive influence in whatever I do regardless of whether it’s a big assignment or a small undertaking, whether it is highly priced or not. Every single assignment to me is important and I take it seriously.

What are some of the challenges you have faced and how have you overcome them?

Well, every single day brings a very different challenge. If you have ever moved to a completely different part of the world to call home, as I am sure you know Lema, it is often very challenging and different. I have tried to cope with that, but I would say that I am still learning, I am a student of adversity, I learn every single day about overcoming adversity.

I have found challenges with people who do not agree with my point of view. I’ve often taken a step back and tried to see things from their angle and a lot of times that has actually made me see a bigger picture of a situation in which maybe I was thinking narrowly or was biased. Often, when you take the time to examine, to listen, to read situations, you realize that certain situations that one culture consider to be barriers against them are really not grounded on any facts. These can be used to develop strengths, rather than impact us negatively.

I have learned that wherever you go, whenever you interact with different people, there will be things that need to be learned and if you become a student of cultures you will overcome the professional or cultural adversities. For example, in some cultures, you can’t touch someone on the head but in others, it is normal. So, once I find out that touching someone on the head will create some kind of tension, I immediately find other ways to engage them. And not insist on doing things the way I’m familiar with.

You have to find ways to overcome adversity and not cry foul, complain about things, or blame other people. Do not accept the same old ways that other generations have used in judging others. Lots of people told me before I travelled to Asia, where there weren’t many Africans at the time, that I was going to fail. But I took that as an encouragement instead. By succeeding, I could show them how biased they were, that they didn’t do their homework. My life turned out to be quite successful there. Some of my best friends today are from Asia, but if I had relied only to the words of some members of my family, I would have thought that Asians are not good people, but they are really good people. Same thing with work, when they say that it can’t be done, that’s when I sit up and look at every angle on how to get it right. I have faced challenges with people, but I wanted to become a student of dealing with people, and not think of myself as a master at dealing with people.

I have faced challenges with understanding different languages so that I could relate well with other cultures. I had to take a class in Chinese, which was quite a challenge. I wanted to understand the jokes that my colleagues were making. English, French, my mother tongue, that’s no problem. I have had to learn Behasa Malayu, Mandarin Chinese, Cantonese, German, Spanish and finally I now realize that having to learn these foreign languages was really not an adversity, they were all opportunities for me to connect with other cultures. I would say every single adversity is an opportunity if you work hard enough and study it carefully enough.

You know when you talked about different things and how they are considered in different cultures, I remember one thing that has always been at the back of my mind. Back home in Africa, it is disrespectful to look somebody in the eye, especially if they’re older than you. But over here in the United States, if you fail to look someone in the eye, they immediately conclude that you are hiding something. This is a constant reminder to me of how different cultures are. And like you say, once you get to understand these differences, things become easier for you.

That’s right because I had to deal with that too. In South Africa, most of the western employees had the tendency to think that because the blacks didn’t look them in the eye, they probably were guilty of some wrong-doing. I encouraged the company to learn more about African culture and to look beyond eye contact in judging Africans. We had to confront that issue quite a bit. I also noticed that here in the US, it’s a big deal…

It sure is. I remember very clearly when I was preparing for my interview for a visa at the US embassy in Cameroon, one of the things my husband clearly told me was “You must look the American interviewer straight in the eye and speak confidently and clearly. Otherwise they will think you are hiding something.” He clearly understood this, having lived in both worlds.

That’s right. And this could make or break a career, you know.

Wow. These are some things we all need to hear. We hope that through Dunia, we will all understand that certain things do not mean that a certain group of people are bad or disrespectful or clueless, it’s just that they think differently. As we wrap up this conversation, what would you like to say to anybody who is going to read this?

I would say to anybody who reads this important magazine that we should all become students of the cultures in which we live, the people we work with or any culture that we are a part of. This makes life a lot easier. Don’t look at things from a judgmental perspective, but from the perspective of someone who appreciates them. If you love math and study math, you say good things about Math; if you love history, you have many good things to say about history, you don’t judge it. Let’s celebrate each other’s culture and life wherever we live. Let’s take our differences and use them as opportunities for growth, and not let them create wedges or be sources of trouble or divisions.

I recently read your book ‘Facing Adversity with Audacity: Thriving in Odds, Obstacles, and Opportunities’ … I must tell you, I really loved it! What really got me were the lessons learned from your mom and how she taught you to be a man and to face the world. I think that many of us talk too much about the glamorous things we have achieved and we seldom go back to those challenges that we faced and overcame. In your book, I hear the voice of a loving mother as she encouraged you. I would like to recommend it to everybody. Please tell us something about the book.

The book came out as a result of me observing that people in industrialized nations who are very wealthy, sometimes surrender to adversity too soon. Some even take their lives by way of suicide and other self-destructive behaviors. And I kept wondering why it is that we become so wealthy, so successful and yet we don’t like our own lives? And so I started looking back, I realized that people who have been living in difficult circumstances cherish their own lives, and the lives of everyone around them. I thought there was something about the resilience of our people back in Africa that I could share with the world, the way that they cope with challenges. I thought I could share and hopefully relate to others based on my culture and the way I grew up in Africa. And so I wrote the book to share that although things may be tough, we do not have to give up.

There is more that is positive than negative in our world today. So let us embrace that which is positive, and work on turning that which is negative into positive. That was the inspiration behind the message of the book. I know that I exposed some weak moments in my life – times when I was very vulnerable, growing up without shoes like I said, “shoeless and clueless”. But the truth is that in life even when you become wealthy, there are times when you feel ‘shoeless and clueless’. It depicts a person who was willing to work hard and turn adversity into opportunity.

Gideon, thank you very much, it’s an honor to have you on the first issue of Dunia and I am sure our readers will understand why.

Thank you very much too, Lema. I am very appreciative of you and what you stand for and I am blessed to have an opportunity to share my experiences and ideas. If only one person benefits from anything I have shared, it will truly mean a lot to me.

(Interview first published in DUNIA Magazine print – Issue 1: August 2010)

More about Gideon on scienceofstorysellingforprofit.com

Lema is on Twitter: @LemaAbeng. Website: www.lemaabeng.com

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