4 Ways to Overcome Challenges in Relationships

“The greatest lesson have I learned from my parents in their 40 years of marriage is that when challenges come, couples need to face them together as a team”

How to Overcome Challenges in Relationships

(Image credit: Orangeline)

In love relationships, most people get caught up in “feelings”. We forget that these “feelings” or emotions  are momentary, they come and go just like fear, pain and the pizza delivery guy … especially when someone we love does something out of character. The easiest bailout plan is to think: “THEY did this to me. I do not love them anymore. How can I love someone who does this to me?”

Now, what has this got to do with challenge? Love takes courage. Love is a challenge in itself, otherwise we would not describe it as ‘true’ like in ‘true love’. From deep romance stories to an unconditional act of love from a stranger, true love is felt when someone goes beyond the norm to show how much they care, especially when they stand by us through difficult times.

The greatest lesson have I learned from my parents in their 40 years of marriage is that when challenges come, couples need to face them together as a team, not divided. After these storms it is not uncommon to hear phrases like, “I know my spouse” or “I know my child” … simply because you have witnessed them go through thick and thin.

Let me share a few healthy secrets of love I have known to work very well:

• Touch Gently
— A gentle touch and smile carry a thousand words of poetry and sow seeds of tenderness capable of lasting a lifetime if nurtured properly. Sure Love does not pay the bills but it sure warms the heart!

• Love Yourself First
— There is no way, absolutely no way, you can fully love anyone without loving yourself first. Not in a conceited way, but by appreciating who you are in all aspects, accepting your flaws and opening up your mind for growth and improvement.

The only way you can learn to love yourself first is by loving the One who created you; If He created you in his image, then there is a reason for that flaw you see in yourself. With respect to that, you cannot give someone what you do not have, and you cannot ask someone to give you what you cannot give.

Take some time off to enjoy your own company. You do not always have to have someone by your side at all times. I am sure you can find 30 minutes in a 24 hour day for some quiet time off. Take in a deep breath, listen to your heart beat, empty your head and relax. Everyone should be able to do this. If you do not have the time, make some, then get back to the daily grind.

• Choose to be Kind
— When there is tension in a relationship, Mr Pride always wants to take over. Do not react with pride but respond with an unexpected kind-hearted gesture. You will certainly regain your pride and it will be at a much higher level than it was before you let go of it to make amends.

• Laugh
— Make room for laughter. Do not be rigid. Laugh at yourself sometimes, even when there is an audience. It dissipates tension and fear, and gives you a platform to view life in a more realistic perspective.

These may not work 100% for everyone, but for the most part people respond better towards acts of love than battle wagers. You get through challenges more easily when you condition your mind to see beyond problems. This in itself might be challenging, but keep working on it.

(First published in DUNIA print Magazine – Issue 3 as Power of You: Overcoming Challenges in Life!)

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