6 Ingredients of Healthy and Honest Friendships (TD Jakes Video)

3 types of friends

Man is at his core a social being. Because of the very nature of our societies and communities, it is virtually impossible for a person to be an “island” or to operate in a vacuum. We are always meeting new people and forming new relationships — and in the process, friendships develop.

Friends make us happy, secure and they bring sunshine into our lives. According to Rebecca G. Adams, a professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina, Greensboro, “In general, the role of friendship in our lives isn’t terribly well appreciated. There is just scads of stuff on families and marriage, but very little on friendship. It baffles me. Friendship has a bigger impact on our psychological well-being than family relationships.”

It is important to guard, nurture and appreciate our friends.

So, what makes these special people so important and how can we make sure they are getting the best of us?

Here are 6 ingredients of good friendships:

Genuineness. Friends “like” each other. There should be nothing fake about a true friendship. Such healthy relationships are rooted in love, the bonds of which are trustworthy. It is never about what either party stands to gain, but all about simply having that person in our lives. Friends are dependable and protective of each other’s interests.

Non judgmental: Friends love you just as you are! Supportive at all times, a friend’s business is seldom to criticize, tell you what to do or how to do it. Instead true friends believe in each other, and have no hidden agendas, making valuable suggestions and providing encouragement along the way. You should be able to throw all caution to the winds and just enjoy being around your friends. Interestingly, the Nurses’ Health Study from Harvard Medical School found that “the more friends women had, the less likely they were to develop physical impairments as they aged, and the more likely they were to lead a joyful life“. The researchers concluded that “not having close friends or confidants was as detrimental to your health as smoking or carrying extra weight“.

Loyalty. Friends will always have your back. Loyalty solidifies such relationships and voids out back-biting, gossiping, and spitefulness. True friends never gloat over the other’s mistakes or snicker when they fall. What makes true friends so priceless is that they stand by each other and are often the first to lend a supporting hand. The last thing a friend of character would do is throw the other under the bus. Good friends are always in each other’s corner … this comes naturally. If loyalty between you seems forced and not so seamless, this may be a cue to rethink who this person is to you – your relationship belong in the category of a “mutually beneficial arrangement”, not true friendship.

Mutual respect. You are precious just as you are. Genuine friendship is all about respecting and appreciating the differences in character, personality, career paths, etc … and never wishing the other person was different. Most importantly, “changing” or “fixing” the other is at no time on the agenda of true friendships. Why would anyone wish to change something/someone they genuinely love? A good friend respects your thoughts even when they disagree; and she/she does not think of themselves as superior.

Open communication. Talk to me about anything. Unless it’s superficial, true friends are not afraid to discuss deep-seated feelings, thoughts, vulnerabilities, dreams and fears — knowing they are secure in the other’s trust and love. Friends know how to listen and not make it all about “me”. You can afford to let your guard down around true friends and simply be yourself.

Forgive and forget. I still love you … regardless! Things will not always be perfect. Yes, there will be misunderstandings and arguments, but friends don’t let these get in the way of their relationship. Friends sometimes make mistakes and even when they let us down, we are still able to forgive and wipe the slate clean… knowing that the intention was not really to cause pain. Hardly is there drawn-out tension, mistrust, resentment between good friends.

As we grow older, it becomes obvious that a few good friends are better than a bunch of unhealthy ones. Every once in a while, do a friendship scan or audit in order to determine who is who in your life. We must not mistake non-friends for real friends, even when they profess to be the real deal and claim to know and understand us.

3 TYPES OF FRIENDS VIDEO BY BISHOP T.D. JAKES

While friendships are of utmost importance in our lives, it is important to understand the various categories in which relationships generally exist and what we should be paying attention to, as explained by Bishop T.D. Jakes in the following video…

As you can see, friends are the flowers of our existence. If you have found most of the above ingredients of healthy and honest friendships in someone, be thankful. Now spread the love and show your friends some appreciation.

(Image credit: atelierknox)

Lema is on Twitter: @LemaAbeng. Lema blogs on Face2Face with Success

 

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