The Transforming Power of Thoughts: How Mom Turned Life Around

“Stay positive by making a conscious decision to feed your mind with positive thoughts.”

Transforming Power of Thoughts

IF you feed your mind with negative thoughts, you will harvest negative results; if you feed it with positive thoughts, you will harvest positive results. There is no way you can plant apple seeds and harvest orange fruits. However, if you plant apple seeds and water them with salty water, they will die. If you water with fresh water and allow them to have enough sunlight, they will grow healthy and bear healthy fruits.

“Everything you are and have, everything you will be and achieve, starts and ends with your mind,” Anze.

Just like our bodies need food, our minds need their own kind of nutrients in the form of “THOUGHTS”.

Never too late

I want to share a story about my mother, how she was able to turn her life around: after 18 years of marriage, she went back to school and was able to do what many said was impossible. She is now a role model to many and has inspired several women to become creative, innovative, educated and fulfilled just by changing the way they think.

One of the many challenges in my mother’s life was a lack of education. My mother was raised in a village known as Awing in Cameroon, on the West Coast of Africa, where education during those days was as rare as water in the desert. She married my father who was in the military and lived in the city— it was an arranged marriage.

My father being the only bread winner at the time, played his role as a good husband unflinchingly, although they encountered several challenges. In the city, my mother had a lot to learn; after all, her life in the village before marriage had mostly centered around walking 10 to 20 mile distances to and from the farm, in a community with just one poorly equipped hospital and few locally run schools; she wasn’t familiar with electricity, pipe-born water, cars, and the other “amenities” in the city.

My mother however embraced her new life and was determined to be the best wife, to integrate herself into the city routine especially by taking advantage of the available opportunities to gain an education which she had never had — while maintaining her strong “country” or traditional values to achieve what she thought was just a dream before she’d left the village.

Despite numerous challenges and obstacles, 18 years and 8 children later, my mother was able to earn a “First School Leaving Certificate” (A GED equivalent) — Phew!!!…ha,ha,ha!!! (I still wonder how they did it because in this day and age having one child is a full time job and then some).

Some years later, mother registered for an exam into the teachers’ training school, self studied and passed at the second attempt. After studying more to improve her grade level, she decided to take on a bigger challenge; The GCE Ordinary Level exam (College entry equivalent). Of course it was not easy, she failed twice but made it the third time. We were so proud of her “Lincoln spirit” as my siblings and I lovingly tease her — and which seems to be what we have inherited from her today.

Still maintaining a home as a wife and mother, my mother kept on going. Two years later, she took the GCE Advanced level after studying by herself and passed at the second attempt. This helped increase her salary at work and opened more doors for her in the community as a leader.

No Limits

Who would have thought things would change so much in 40 years for two people who had barely known each other, but would agree to spend a lifetime together?

Well in these modern times, it’s a different story — I would not even let my friends set me up on a blind date… not to talk of parking at the far end of the parking lot for a breezy walk into the mall…oh!!! what a distance! Generation X.

After 40 years of marriage, my mother is currently enrolled at the University of Buea in Cameroon where she is studying Education, she has been president of the women’s development group in the community known as Gentle Ladies for more than 8 years now, she is vice president of Soroptimist International (www.soroptimistinternational.org) in the Buea region, head teacher at the local school, Sunday school teacher, runs a small orphanage at home where she provides shelter and tutors children and orphans who cannot afford education (like her back in the day). For the church, she is minister in charge of Prayer and Fellowship in 6 house cells, mother of 14 (8 from her womb and 6 adopted) and 6 grand children … I could go on.

All these happened as a result of the thoughts she conceived in her mind; because she refused to accept the ‘status quo’ that would have robbed her of her dreams, she made small attainable goals, celebrated small successes — and she is determined to keep growing and leading by example until the good Lord calls her home.

When you have parents like mine, what excuse do you have to fail?

Feed your mind with a different kind of diet

Yes, it is easier said than done — but how can you set yourself on a different path using the power of your thoughts?

  • Start with small achievable goals.
  • Stay positive by making a conscious decision to feed your mind with positive thoughts. An interesting exercise is to start by spending a full week during which you are only telling yourself about the things you WANT and what you CAN achieve; be realistic and see (or picture) yourself already owning these things. CAUTION: STOP talking about what you do not have and what you cannot achieve.
  • Give yourself permission to dream—BIG. These dreams don’t have to be rational especially as per your current circumstances.
  • Reign in your emotions. It will be wise not to let your emotions get in the way. Emotions lead to feelings, feelings lead to thinking, thinking leads to decisions, decisions lead to actions, actions lead to habits, habits lead to character and character leads to destiny. Negative emotions will only cause you pain and despair. The truth is, if you are unable to curb negative emotions inside of you such as doubt, despair, feelings of laziness, selfishness, greed, fear … you will NOT be able to manage and control more tangible things around you like time, money, projects, etc.

Learn from my mother’s story, and start feeding your mind with a different diet. It will not only bring out the best in you, it will also bring you a great sense of comfort and fulfillment where you can be confident enough in helping others become who they truly want to be.

Experience may be the best teacher but the best teacher always learns from experience.

(First published in DUNIA print Magazine, Issue 5)

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