The Life and Legacy of an ICON. Whitney Houston – Lessons Learned

Whitney Houston lessons learned

It’s been a little over one week since Whitney Houston died. I was at a Valentine’s day party last Saturday Feb 11th organized by my alma mater in which I was an emcee looking over the program and preparing to kick the evening off, when a friend walked in and announced Whitney Houston had died.

Like millions of fans worldwide, I felt a deep sense of sadness … the news was sorrowful, unbelievable and very shocking — but not quite surprising. When he told me she had been found submerged in a bath tub at a Beverly Hills Hotel, I felt an incredible sense of loss. How could this have happened right in front of the world: from pop queen, America’s princess, to her struggles with drugs and now this untimely death?

Please permit me to me back up a little bit. I am not writing this article to point fingers or speculate on the life of this extraordinary talent, but to discuss what can be taken away from those experiences she gracefully shared with us – the lessons learned.

Whitney Houston was a woman with a voice that rang across the world, touching the hearts of women, men, young girls and boys hundreds of thousands of miles away, even in small unknown African towns like the one I grew up in, with hits such as “I am every woman”, “I will always love you”, “Heartbreak Hotel”, “Where do broken hearts go” and many more; uniting the human race regardless of whether you were black, white or in between.

Whitney’s life “after the glory years” was public knowledge, her struggles with substance abuse were no secret, yet in my heart and that of many, she still was always WHITNEY HOUSTON the ICON. During those ‘not so good years’, as I watched her TV interviews, what I saw was a woman who was strong, out spoken, passionate, eccentric at times, yet always classy, regal and beautiful. She was a fighter.

I especially remember the 2009 interview she did with Oprah Winfrey, as she was launching her latest album. Oprah states that before the interview began, away from the glare of the cameras, she asked Whitney what her intentions were for doing the interview and Whitney replied that she just wanted to have a real talk. I was struck by this as I believe we can only learn from real discussions – no holds barred, no topics off-limit and from speakers who pour their hearts out as did Whitney on that September day.

This interview was recently aired again on Oprah in ‘Remembering Whitney Houston’; you can read my tweets as I watched. In light of her death, there were deep seated lessons and life truths in her words.

Here are the lessons learned from the life, death and legacy of this wonderful gift that graced the world for such a short period of time:

Never dim your lights for anyone

“I had to play it down. I was Mrs Brown,” says Whitney.
“So you started to dim your own light?” asks Oprah.
“Yes …”
When Houston discussed her marriage with R&B superstar and bona fide bad boy Bobby Brown, she talked of a deep love that somehow went wrong. She felt he may have had difficulties dealing with how big of a celebrity and worldwide sensation Whitney was, and became jealous of her fame because wherever they went, she was the one that shone, the one everyone wanted a piece of her. She shared “it does something to a man when a woman [their spouse] has that much power“. Whitney believed this made Bobby Brown resentful of her. He cheated on her, abused her mentally and verbally; he put her down, going as far as spitting on her.

As a woman who desperately wanted to make her marriage work, Houston tried to make herself “not so big”. She didn’t want to be ‘Whitney Houston’, she says, preferring to be addressed ‘Mrs Brown’. That gift to sing with such a golden voice started to mean nothing to her as she emerged herself into her marriage … and in drugs, drugs and more drugs. Because she took her marital vows so seriously, Houston would rather be seen at hubby Bobby’s side in court on numerous occasions where he answered to charges ranging from spousal abuse, speeding, to failure to pay child support. Mrs Brown stood by her man and in the process lost herself.

Watching Whitney Houston’s downward spiral and listening to her trying to make sense of it all, I was able to look inward and somehow equate it to our everyday lives. I believe that whenever we try to make ourselves less of who we are, or more of what we are not, we inevitably become unaligned with why we were created – our gifts, our purpose, and what we do best. Un-fulfillment creeps in and we begin to try to fill the void with “things” – drugs, alcohol, prescription medications, material belongings; some seek fame and hug the limelight, while others retreat into a shell … weaving a complicated web around ourselves.

Drugs became Whitney’s ultimate demise. The marriage she fought so hard for ended in 2009; her voice was gone, eroded by many years of drug and alcohol use; the life she cherished, that precious gift from God, coming to a painful and tragic end on that day when the candle of her life burnt out, leaving a void in the hearts of many.

Real love is everlasting

The question remains, how about the ones who loved her most and through it all, uplifted her, stood by her and wanted only the best for Whitney? This brings me to my next life lesson: focus on the ones who love you, cherish you and appreciate your gifts.

Whitney, like most in the limelight and like everyone of us in living rooms across the world, struggled with insecurities. She worried about being accepted, “were they going to like her”? She feared she wasn’t good enough as expressed by co-actor of The Bodyguard Kevin Costner during Houston’s home-going ceremony.

Everyone wants to be liked, true! But the reality is that not everyone is going to like us. Houston had millions of fans who adored her, but somehow the few who didn’t, got to her and messed with her mind.

The ones who hurt most

I thought it was interesting that on the evening she died, the Clive Davis pre-Grammy award party in which she was scheduled to perform, went on as planned. While the stars were walking the red carpet, paramedics were rushing up to Houston’s room in the same hotel, working fervently to resuscitate her; her daughter breaking down, family members and friends overwhelmed and completely devastated. As those she was supposed to be mingling with sat sipping champagne from fancy glasses – not because they didn’t care, but because life will go on for many – time did stand still for those who loved her best and had cherished her the longest. Life lesson: the ones who really love will be hurt the most, think about them before you make certain decisions; for everyone else, including several so called friends, life will go on.

Our prayers are with Whitney’s daughter Bobby Christina, mom Cissy Houston, siblings, family members, close friends and ex-husband Bobby Brown.

I pray for the repose of Whitney Houston’s soul and I say “thank you” for making us all proud. Because of stars like Whitney Houston RIP, Michael Jackson RIP, Bob Marley RIP, James Brown RIP and others, the human race is more united and most importantly, in my opinion, the black race has been lifted up … no longer viewed as just slaves and poverty-stricken villagers, but as powerful, productive and highly gifted human beings. For that I say thank you!

I would like to end with this quote from my favorite Whitney Houston song Greatest Love of All – “The greatest love of all Is easy to achieve; Learning to love yourself, It is the greatest love of all.”

Lema’s website is www.lemaabeng.com; Twitter: @LemaAbeng

Facebook Comments

Related Posts

Comments

Do not miss