Things Are Not Always What They Seem: An Unexpected Turn of Events
EXCERPTS FROM LADY B’s DAIRIES
Welcome back readers,
What a difference a week makes! In the past week since we met, I have lost a close family friend. She was a mother, a wife, sister, daughter and a friend to so many. She was so young and full of life. Yes, in just a short week, the trajectory of a family’s life has changed. I am sure my late friend’s story can be replicated in many corners around the globe. Yet, life is still carrying on like nothing happened. Those left to pick up the pieces are her immediate circle and life goes on as it must. What a contradiction! One minute you are there and the next minute you are gone. This brings me to a very wise summation by my husband, “live every minute as if it were your last and plan for tomorrow just in case!” Ironically, this friend was the same age as Tina in our story of last week.
Now, where were we with Tina’s story? Ok, here we go!
Continuation from
Part 2: AN UNEXPECTED TURN OF EVENTS
The look in Bob’s eyes as he turned towards me could have frozen an inferno. Instead of backing off and shrinking in fear, I felt emboldened. Quickly, I readjusted my thinking and carefully began to plan my next move. Conscious of the fact that I was about to enter a ‘no fly zone,’ I preceded with caution, just in case I was forced to retreat.
“For how long has Tina been sick? “ I asked.
“Do you mean this hospitalization or what do you mean?” Bob retorted.
I forged on, “I mean from the beginning. When did you find out that Tina had cancer?”
There, I said it! He was either going to answer and clear up all my misgivings about why he was so cold towards his dying wife or confirm my supposition that he was just a cold-hearted person. On the other hand, he could tell me to shut up and mind my own business or this was the opening he needed to pour out his soul. Either way, something would give! I did not care what option he went with. All that mattered at this time to me was an explanation, any, to make some sense out of this mystery. Little did I know that tugged beneath that stoned expression and the seemingly detached individual was a grieving, emotionally wounded man. And he began to unleash.
“Nurse, I died six months ago. Tina is just now experiencing what happened to me six months ago. You see, Tina is a middle school teacher and I am a coach for the cheerleading team at the same school. Our kids go to that same school. Six months ago we were a happy family. Just before school stated for the fall semester, we went for our physicals. Tina had been complaining about a cold and the doctor ordered a chest X-ray. Well, we left the doctor’s office and came here for the test. We had barely reached our house when Tina’s phone rang. It was the doctor calling us to come back here immediately to discuss the result of the test x-ray. We made a u-turn.
When we got here, the doctor had two other doctors with him. One was introduced to us as the radiologist, the other was an oncologist, which at the time I didn’t know meant, a cancer doctor. We sat down and our family doctor began by saying that he and his two colleagues present just reviewed Tina’s x-ray and the conclusion from the x-ray which was displayed on a board in the room was that a ‘good portion of Tina’s lungs was covered by malignant cells’. According to them, there was little time to waste as more tests were needed and an immediate course of action was to be determined.
Nurse, even if I believed in God, I was not even given the chance to consult with Him or even to question the doctors about what all the information they were crowding us with meant. Within the next week everything went into over-drive. Tina was scheduled for immediate surgery and chemo to start thereafter. I had no time to even sit the kids down to explain to them what was happening to us. Then there was the rest of the family who were criticizing me for not letting them in to what was happening to Tina.
Nurse, how could I explain to others what I, myself could not understand? No one has ever cared to sit down with me and answer the thousands of questions that I have going on in my head. Tina is the go- to- parent for our family. What do I know about what a girl needs? We have two daughters and a son. Our first daughter could soon be having her period, what do I know about those things? Oh, yes, I see the looks on the nurses’ faces when I care to glance from time to time as I pass by the nurse’s station. That is nothing compared to the treatment I have received from my own family. Everyone thinks I don’t care. Maybe they are right. Maybe I really don’t care because I died six months ago!”
I was completely numb from where I was standing. I don’t remember how long I had been standing on that spot. I didn’t even realize that tears were running down my eyes. I was only brought to reality by a tap on the door as a nurse tech came in to check the beeping pump in the room. As soon as the door opened, I bolted out straight to the nurse’s launch sobbing as I dashed in. Luckily it was empty, not that I cared. The tears streamed as I sat down. I cried for a good 10 minutes. I couldn’t tell who those tears were for. Was I feeling sorry for myself for judging someone in whose shoes I was not walking? Was I feeling sorry for a husband who had not been given the chance to understand what cards he had been dealt? Was it for three kids who were soon to be motherless perhaps without anyone taking the time to explain to them what was happening? It was for probably any of these reasons that I felt so heavy and needed to off-load. For the first time, since meeting Tina and her family I tried to place my own family in their shoes and it really hurt! I imagined my children and husband with me slipping off at that moment like Tina was doing and God, the thought was unbearable. One thing was undisputable; this family needed help and in whatever little way I could, I was determine to help. Perhaps make a little restitution for contributing to Bob’s emotional trauma. I came back into the room with a renewed sense of purpose.
“Sir, I am sorry for that burst of emotion. I needed it.” I said.
“Oh! No offense taken.” Bob replied. He kept the monotonous rocking going. Tina was still breathing gently, eyes half closed, glasses still in place. The second hand on the clock was still going, “tick, tack, tick tack.” The drip from the bag was still dropping into the chamber every 10secs. For a moment I forgot there was a dying patient in the room. The time on the clock read 8pm yet it felt like a whole day had gone by. What next?
Come back next week for the end of my shift report. Until then have a blessed and productive week.
- Part 3: Life’s Crucible Moments
Lady B.
LADY BERNADETTE is a DUNIA Magazine Column by Lilian Nukuna-Fomunung. Topics will range from serious subject matters such as politics to women empowerment and much more. Some topics will be controversial; others will leave you with a feeling of “I am counting my blessings”. Lady Bernadette wishes to engage her audience and provide a relaxed atmosphere as well as teach a lesson or two and help make the world a better place for someone. Don’t hesitate to leave a comment or ask questions. Enjoy.