By Honore Fon
Not that I am claiming to know what millions of men worldwide admire in women. What a man in Bombay, India may want from a woman could be quite different from what an African man in Bamenda, Cameroon likes. Same for the differences between what my neighbor the plumber wants, compared to what a fortune 500 CEO admires. Hey! Or am I wrong? Aren’t they all men like me? I will however try to tie in our similarities. I think every man wants something physical (looks and chemistry), mental, social, psychological, and spiritual from the woman (or women) in his life … and admiration begins from our needs and wants.
I promise to not sound like the 21st century Sigmund Feud giving lectures; I am just another man talking:
- So let’s begin with the physical. We all know men got the testosterone, stronger muscles, signature body parts, more hair, etc, going for them. However, different men have different things they admire in different women, but one thing you can be sure of is that you need to get him physically attracted to you if you want him to stick around. We want to like what we see, and then we can start seeing other things we like about you. A woman who looks good and feels good about looking good is sure to attract her kind of man. But first you have to realize that looking good has much more to do with your attitude than just the make-up you’re wearing.
- Now, some guys don’t mind a not-so-smart woman as long as she looks like Beyonce; but for most guys, the combination of both beauty and brains is a strong magnet. We want to hang out with a woman who can at least sustain a conversation, stimulate our minds, tease us, make us laugh, and question some of our vices while noticing our virtues. Now, it takes an intelligent girl to pull that off, don’t you think?
- A man’s world doesn’t just end in the bedroom and the kitchen, and even if we pretend that’s where we want you, we soon tend to get bored and seek after your more sociable friends. Nobody is asking you to be a Michelle Obama … after all, how many of us are Obamas or Romneys (lol, not to leave out the Republicans). However, we like to see your charming side in a social setting … entertaining guests, taking care of your mom, holding a reasonable conversation with our friends, and being liked and admired by your colleagues and relatives. That shows we have a good sense of judgment … hi!hi! And yes, we like a woman with a good social IQ, but not necessarily one who goes overboard with the socialite stuff.
- A little psychology won’t kill. Your guy or hubby wants to know that you “know” him; that you understand him and that you care about how he feels. He may be playing tough and hiding his feelings, but he truly is scared of that new job, he really is worried about not having an erection last night and of course, yes, he is still pissed off at his mother-in-law – your mother for being disrespectful the other day. He wants to be understood and cared for. Sometimes, we are still little babies missing our mothers. Just be thoughtful and caring enough to notice and work it out with us. There is always a right way to make someone know they are wrong. Connect!
- Now, somebody say “Amen!” Oops ok, not everyone here goes to church. Sorry, people, but I was not even talking about religion here. We all crave something beyond the ordinary, beyond the visible and sometimes too, beyond the thinkable. For many, it’s God. For others, it’s nature and for others still, its yoga or some other thing I don’t quite understand myself. You should have at least some spiritual side that appeals to or intrigues him; somewhere you can take him when all reasoning fails. Something intangible but important, like hope.
- Did we say 5 Things Men Like in Women? I added an extra bonus – number 6. When all else fails, don’t forget the Bedroom! Yes, that’s right! We want sexual compatibility at all cost. Don’t ask me to pray before sex when you know I may lose my erection in the course of the prayer. One sure thing is that taking us to the bedroom can at least get us arguing again about your spending habits, but this time, while hugging you and listening for real.
And remember, this was just another man speaking.
(First published in DUNIA print Magazine issue 9 – Oct-Dec 2012)
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Also by Honore Fon