Emerge with Irene: Am I Trying To Be Someone Else?
Society has set its standards on what qualifies as good living and/or beauty. In an attempt to fit in, in a quest to be accepted and loved, we are forced at a very early age to model after society’s standards of what beauty is. We somehow sub-consciously fight a battle within on what we really want for ourselves versus what the world expects of us. Unfortunately, the latter seemed to have won in my case.
As stated in my previous article here on DUNIA Magazine and to those friends with whom I have shared my life story, I used up a greater part of my younger years trying to look as “white” as I could get by bleaching my hair and skin. This continued until I became friends with a “white girl” in Germany who told me that all her life, she’d been trying to be brown like me. Facing this reality was the turning point in my life.
While I’m still emerging in life, I’ve realized that sharing my story and lessons that I’ve learned, is my way of reaching out to many others who may just need a little encouragement to take that extra step ahead.
Accept the past
The way most of us dress, choices about how we do our hair or makeup, and how we carry ourselves, are rooted deep in some experiences of our past. Until we can accept the fact that we can’t change our past, until we forgive others, forgive ourselves and learn from our mistakes, we are sure to continue being a passenger on someone else’s bus. Forgiveness is not forgetting. It is saying “this person or situation has no more effect on my life, so I let it go”. Once you let go, you free yourself!
Understand that acceptance starts with finding truth & love
Most of us don’t believe that we are beautiful the way we are, so loving ourselves is so far-fetched. Love is a decision that is rooted in the truth that we all are different yet unique in different ways. No one could be the other and no one can replace the other. With that in mind, it’s only best to learn to re-evaluate ourselves in an attempt to improve on our overall well-being and that of others.
Now that you have accepted your past, forgiven yourself, and found the truth, it’s time for taking action. Enough with repeating the same old things you did. Now, you have a new direction and purpose. Make a decision today: I’m making the decision today to embark on a journey of loving and accepting myself. When I love ME, then I can truly love others.
Work On Your Issues
It was easy to find out that I had issues because of the results I had been producing. At my late 20’s, I couldn’t picture what my real complexion or natural hair texture would look like because I had been bleaching my skin and hair for too long. These were clear issues staring at me my whole life, but I was busy trying to secure my place in the light skin & straight hair world. Some of these issues were the root cause of my insecurities that lead up to me trying to fix the inside from the outside. Remember, there is nothing wrong with seeking help! Realizing and accepting that you have issues is the first step to healing. In my case, I needed professional help to get to the roots and deal with some deep issues I had buried all my life.
Create your own values
Being open about the issues I had has set me free. I am now able to clearly differentiate between the things I did out of ignorance and the ones that came from my new found self. With that revelation, I no longer try to fit in, work too hard to be accepted by others or even loved by them. Rather, I am working on becoming the best version of me, learning about me every day, and giving love instead of expecting it. Today, I wear my natural complexion and hair with all pride.
We all have one life to live, and it’s up to us to make it worthwhile. The question remains, “Am I Trying to Be Someone Else?”
Let your love journey help you realize:
You are Unique! Wear it!
You are special! Own it!
You have purpose! Find it!
You have values! Re-create them!
You are enough! Go out and do it!
You can have it! See it!
You have a voice! Inspire!
You are loved! Claim it!
You have love! Share it!
You are YOU! BE IT!
Irene’s upcoming book “Am I Trying to Be Someone Else?” will shed more light on her journey while giving her readers tools to help them take on their individual journeys.
To stay connected with Irene,
Like her Facebook page – Emerge with Irene
DUNIA poll. Please participate and see what others have voted for
Loading ...