Why People Stay In Abusive Relationships

October 30, 2018
DUNIA Contributor
Posted in Love & Relationships Our Women

Written by Belle Sonkey
Day 18/ Domestic Violence (DV) Awareness Month✍️📖

We know the signs and understand we are in an abusive relationship but we cannot leave. Some people will say if they were in pains or really cannot take it anymore, why are they staying? Leaving an abusive relationship is not as easy as it seems to be.

WHY DO PEOPLE STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS?

- 👉Victims stay because of fear of what will happen if they decide to leave the relationship especially if the victim has been threatened by their partner, family or friends they may feel insecure leaving.
- 👉 Some victims don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like. This may be because growing up in an environment where abuse was common, they think abuse is just normal, therefore they may not recognize that their relationship is unhealthy.
- 👉 The embarrassment that comes with abuse makes it hard for the victim to admit that they’ve been abused. Victims sometimes feel guilty for becoming involved with an abusive partner and worry about how their family and friends look at or judge them.
- 👉 Low self-esteem as a result of constant belittlement and blames for the abuse by their partner might push the victim to believe those statements and think that the abuse is as a result of their fault.

Read | 4 Common Abuses She Suffers At Home

- 👉 Some victims may stay in an abusive relationship hoping that their abusers will change. The abusers know how to play their game, so they tell you they love you and you love them and they promise to change. Most of the times the victim is so in love that the one thing they want is for the violence to stop and they are not for entirely ending the relationship.
- 👉 The social or peer pressure that comes with the fear and fact that no one will believe them or that everyone will take the abuser’s side in cases where he is famous or has angelic looks that make people think he cannot even hurt an ant 🤓.

Read | Are You The Coward Beating Up On Your Wife Or Fiancée?

👉 Some cultures and religions with traditional gender roles make it difficult for people to leave abusive relationships for fear of bringing shame upon their families and also because of the stigma that goes with.
👉 The zeal to raise their children with both parents in the same home, even if that means staying in an abusive relationship, takes precedence over the unforeseen pressure that comes with single parenting or pregnancy and sometimes the abusive partner threatens to take/harm the children if the victim leaves.
👉 Once the victim is not economically independent i.e. is financially dependent on their abusive partner, or has a disability and relies on the abuser for help or support, it becomes “mission impossible” for them to leave the relationship.

Never be scared to leave an abusive, unhealthy relationship as it robs you of your self-esteem and dignity. Remember you can seek help as you are not alone because;

#Togetherwearestrongest 💪💪
#EmpowerAwoman 💃💃
#Press4Progress 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️
#NOTODOMESTICVIOLENCE 🤔🤔

(Image: Creative Commons Zero (CC0))
(Article was originally published on Facebook, October 18, 2018)