This is Going to Crack You Up (PART 1, a Black Love Story)
Image Credit: Marion Wear – Dreamstime.com
You heard the ole saying, “what don’t break you will make you stronger”. Well, follow me on this story and we will see. After Lynn’s death I was withdrawn from the social life for many months, even though we were not a couple I still had a special love for him. I had started thinking that everything I touch turns to mud. I didn’t want to touch anything else, fearing that it would end in tragedy. It was true I needed a laugh, but this one guy here is going to crack you up.
I had just gotten off work and stopped at the store to get gas. I was standing at the counter paying for my other items and as soon as I turned to exit the door, there he was, coming through the door, with those big brown pretty eyes he smiled at me. I said, “Nope, nope, nope, not this time.” I just threw my hands up and walked pass him. He said, “Whoa, hold on what’s wrong?” as he used his boyish smile to sink me into his world.
I said, “nothing everything is gravy.” He just laughed out loud. Now I’m offended because he is laughing at me. Which struck another conversation. I said, “Look I am not interested in whatever you are peddling; whether it’s love or hate I don’t want it.” And I walked out the door.
“Wait a minute baby,” and he turned to walk behind me. “I didn’t mean to make you upset, but I’m not a peddler, I am a master brick mason. Don’t judge me by your past mistakes.”
Oh that did it. I went into his mother womb and slapped him with, “Brother you don’t know me and if I do have past mistakes you will not be the future one.” I walked away from him and got in my car and sped off. I was furious. The nerve of him with those big brown eyes and boyish smile. He was a cutie I gotta give him that. But nevertheless, he was rude and inconsiderate, and he didn’t know nothing about my life.
The holidays came fast and before I knew it Thanksgiving and Christmas had come and gone. The New Year was here, and I didn’t have no one to be with or wish me Happy New Year. I went to the New Year’s Party at the Progressive Men’s club. My uncle had invited me because he was the D-jay and felt I needed to unwind and start the New Year off right. I decided to go and have some fun for a change. I put on my black body dress and it was fitting me like white on rice. I always like to look eatable.
I stopped at my mom’s house to wish her a happy New Year and I headed out on the town. All I was seeing was couples riding around and laughing having a good time. I missed having someone to spend the holidays with, I especially missed the gifts. But to hell with relationships they suck for me. I just wanted to go to the club let my uncle see my face and have a few drinks and go home.
I walked into the club and all eyes turned my way… men and women; the women were looking at the their men looking at me. I smiled a flirtatious smile and walked over to the D-jay booth where my uncle was playing on the turntables. He just couldn’t resist calling my name over the mic and saying I was single. I just shook my head at him and sat down. Drinks started coming from the bar. “This is going to be a long night,” I said to myself.
My uncle came around and sat with me and told his assistant D-jay to take over. We had not talked in a minute and he felt the need to give me some advice for the new year. He looked at me and said, “Slim,” that’s what he called me, “don’t attack life with so much strength, let the universe do most of the work. This year I want you to take life easy, let things come to you for a change.”
I said, “Okay Uncle Red, I will.”
Now let’s get this party started right. We had the VIP booth and I sat there all-night drinking and having a good time with my uncle. The place was jammed packed with New Years’ couples. Then this couple started arguing, I heard the man say, “Woman you gave me the crabs.” I said, “Oh my god!”. She said, “I ain’t gave you nothing.” He said, “You did, cause you the only woman I been with.” She said to him, “I ain’t gave you nothing. You bought them crabs for $20 .00.” I was done. She was known for prostitution and I guess that answered the question, but I laughed until I almost fell on the floor.
I was having a good time, until he walked in the door, big brown eyes and he was with a girl. He didn’t see me but I just had to make myself known. I got up and walked to the bar, right pass them. On my way back from the bar, he looked right at me and turned to watch where I was going. I sat down and my uncle ain’t no fool; he said, “Who you after girl?” I just laughed. They slowed the music down so the lovers could get extra close. I watched them slow dance and every turn he made he was looking my way. Then behind her back he pointed straight at me. I turned to look behind me as if I didn’t know he was directing his point at me. I was just watching him.
He was slick too. As soon as the dance was over, she went to the bathroom and he headed toward my table. As bold as he could, he said, “I’m going to make you mine.” I said, “Oh yeah and what about her?”
He said, “Oh she’s just a date, nothing serious with her.”
I said, “It takes a woman 5 minutes to use the bathroom, you better head back over to your post.”
He stayed long enough to drop his card on the table. I said, “Hum, you want me to pick that up, wait on it.” He laughed, picked up the card and handed it to me.
Oh Shit! I have to come back to this story. My sister has fallen ill with bone cancer and I got to catch a flight to Charlotte, North Carolina. Yeah, back to where my pain first started. My knight in glittering gold remember. I thought that pain was bad wait until you hear about this.
My flight landed that evening at Douglas International Airport. My brother-in-law picked me up from the airport and took me straight to where my sister was. I didn’t want to talk to nobody but the doctor. I wanted to know what this leukemia was and what we needed to do to get my sister well. My sister’s eyes were shinning like diamonds. I said to her, “Yep we going to get this thing solved and go home.” She said, “Yeah Sis, you know us.”
When the Doctor came in, I asked him what leukemia was and he said it was cancer of the bone. I said, “Okay how do we cure it?” He said we’re going to start with chemotherapy and if that works, the cancer will be taken out the bone. I said, “Good, when is her treatment?” He said tomorrow morning. Great good night! Let us sleep. I had a rush about getting her cured and out of the hospital.
We didn’t talk much that night. I was tired and I’m sure she was too. We watched a little news and went to bed. The chemo treatment started at 7:00 a.m. the next morning. The nurse said she was getting 2 rounds of chemotherapy treatment. When the treatment is over, the results of the treatment will say whether the cancer cells were destroyed.
So after treatment we waited for the results of the chemo. When the doctor finally came in with the results and the cancer cells had been destroyed, we jumped for joy. I was hollering and screaming, dancing, time to go home, time to go home, giving a shoulder lean. Then the doctor said, “Wait now, let’s not celebrate yet. She’s not out the woods yet.”
I said, “What you mean?”
He said her body now has to withstand the poison we just put in her body, I said, “What?” I almost punched that Doctor in the face. He explained, “Yes chemo is a sort of a poison. In order to kill cancer cells, chemotherapy drugs also destroy healthy cells; now let’s see how her body reacts.” I said, ok. I was totally done.
We celebrated that night anyway, the cancer was gone, all we needed to do now was defeat the demon they put in her body. I sent my brother-in-law to the liquor store and he brought me a bottle of cream liquor and I got drunk and made her laugh all night. We were laughing so much and so loud that the nurse came to put some of the people out the room. When she slung the door open we both looked at her like, what the hell. She said, “Oh it’s just you two.” We said, “Yeahhhh.” She said it sounded like there was a room full of people in here. We just laughed at her.
That was our last great laugh for months. The poison had started attacking her body. I saw it coming, first it was the spitting of blood. That demon attacked every system she had in her body. I remained confident in the face of it though. I wanted my sister to see that it wasn’t nothing we couldn’t defeat together. Her life was no longer in the doctor’s hands, her life was now in my hands as far as I was concerned. I had decided love was the only thing that would save her and I had to go to Orion to get it.
I remember the day her head started burning. She said, “Sis come rub my head it’s burning.” I said OK. I rubbed it until she said stop. Same thing the next day, then it was more and more. I rubbed her head one evening and her hair was in my hand. I said, “What!” So I got a brush and I started brushing it and almost all her hair came out on the brush. I mean to the root. I was afraid to tell her, so I wrapped it in tissue and threw it in the trash. But I had to tell her. We got pass the loss of hair.
Then it was the blood transfusions, then it was the scare of the kidney failure. The nausea and vomiting was the worst. She couldn’t stand the smell of food, now they were tube feeding her; digestive stress and loss of muscle and bone strength set in from not being able to get out of bed. My sister was in so much pain I could feel the agony. But I stayed strong. The doctors began to fuss at her about getting out of the bed and walking. I said, “Wait a minute, you’re talking about her getting out of the bed, she can’t get out the bed she’s drugged up.”
The Doctor said, “what?” I said she’s on too many drugs… “you are giving her too much pain medication.” He flipped through his chart and said, “yeah, you are right.” He cut some of her pain medications and in 3 days she was up and we were walking down the hall. The nurses couldn’t believe it.
As we were walking down the hall, all I heard were screams of agony and pain. It sounded like we were in a valley of dying people. I stopped and I looked at her. I said, “Listen, we’ve got to get out of here, we don’t belong here. Do you hear me?” She said, “Yeah Sis.
The following day, she fell really sick, unconscious sick, everything was going wrong. It was a wait-and-see moment. My mother came and I knew it was going to be a go-to-Jesus meeting. As soon as she stepped in the room and saw a pan beside my sister’s bed and it was full of blood, Mom almost fainted. She screamed, “Is that my baby’s blood?” I said, “Yes mama.” But by the time I could explain, the holy ghost was there and she went into the bathroom and she called all kinds of words to the spirit; the nurse walked in and heard the unknown language and shut the door quickly. Mama was doing her thang. By that time, other family members started coming, mostly my mother’s sisters and our sisters, they all brought their spirit of healing. Families don’t know how strong they are together. Especially the women in the families.
Later that night I sat up and I was tired of being there, I was cursing everything. I wanted my sister well and I wanted her well right then. I went to sleep mad. Then I had a dream. I was in a dark place and I had a sword and my sword was raised to strike. I was waiting for something to show itself and I was going to take its head off. As soon as it showed itself, it was a huge snake and it was wrapped around my sister’s bed. I didn’t even think, I just swung the sword and the snake’s head came off and all I saw was the splattering of blood and the snake’s head going up in the air and I woke up. I said now we can go home and went back to sleep.
The next morning, my sister was awake. I said, “Where have you been chic?”
She said, “I dreamed a big snake was wrapped around my bed, but I couldn’t see his head.”
I said to her, “I cut it off.” And she said thank you. We knew that our souls had defeated the demon and we could heal and go home.
Sure enough she got better and she was eating everything in sight. I was happy to see her eating again. Then her depression and anxiety set in because the chemo and its side effects were adding to the stress of her trying to live an everyday life. The chemo had changed the color of her skin and she had lost all her hair, she was about 90 lbs and that made her unhappy. She began talking nasty to the nurses. When people came to see her, she was nasty; when her husband came to see her, she was nasty and most of all she was nasty to me.
I had to take many walks around the hospital to keep from leaving her there and going back home. My mission was over I was only staying around because I didn’t want her to be by herself. Then one day she hollered at me and that was it. I let her have it. I said, “Look I don’t have to be here taking your shit, I can go home, in fact I am going home.” And I stormed out the hospital room.
I took a walk on the trail and I met a woman there and her husband had cancer and she too was ready to walk out and leave him. She told me that it’s the cancer treatment that made them that way. Because her husband was the same grouchy way… like it’s everybody else’ fault they got cancer; she told me to be patient with my sister and let her express her anger. I had thought my sister was just being ungrateful because she had that trait before she got cancer, but ok.
I didn’t leave and when I got back to the room she said, “I don’t want you to leave Sis, I want you to stay.” I said alright I will stay.
We stayed there about 3 more weeks and I was taking my sister home. You talk about happy, I was overjoyed. People were waving bye to us like we were celebrities. I was giving them the parade wave.
Her wellness didn’t last long because of outside elements, she caught a virus and it took a toll on her, I had to fly back to Charlotte and take care of her after her bone marrow transplant. That was not as strenuous, but she was sick for a long time. We defeated that as well and now today she is walking around, traveling and living her best life.
For me all I can say is someone please call 911, I just been shot down and the bullet’s in my heart. I didn’t call Brown Eyes the whole time I was gone. When I arrived back home, it was almost a year later and I wanted the company of a man, point blank period. I called him up and he answered. I said, “Hi master builder, I need a shed built in my garden.”
He said, “I can take a look at it, who am I speaking to?”
I said, “Oh, you don’t want to make me yours anymore?”
He just laughed and said, “Girl, you know how long I’ve been thinking about you. Where have you been? Where are you now, I’m coming.”
I gave him my address and in an hour’s time he was there with a bottle of wine and a box of chocolate candy. Sistahs when I say the man smelled like honey suckles in the summertime!! I almost… but I didn’t. I was a lady for at least a good 2 hours. I did it right, I cooked us some steaks and baked potatoes with a salad. He poured the wine and we enjoyed dinner and talked about our life lessons and laughed at our mistakes. After dinner I played some jazz music for him and come to find out, he was a jazz lover. He knew something. Then he broke out into some poetry and it seems like my bra strap broke. I was completely taken away. Brown Eyes was in trouble tonight and I don’t care what nobody say, I am doing it. Ok I’m not doing it, but tomorrow night I am going to be prepared. The night ended well, he wanted to go out tomorrow for breakfast, I agreed; and I said to myself, lunch and dinner too. I got a plan.
The next morning, he called me to come to his house and that he was cooking breakfast for me. I said ooh, I thought we were going out to eat, he said, “No, I decided to cook you my homemade specialty – hoecake bread and molasses.” He got me, I was weak, text me your address, I would love to come.
That is my favorite, how did he know? Am I really going to give it up for some hoecake bread and molasses? Damn I hope it don’t be good. I arrived at Brown Eye’s house around 10:00 am. He had a sharp 3-bedroom ranch style house. He keeps his lawn well-manicured and the landscaping was just breathtaking. I walked into his kitchen and it was immaculate. Oh yes, I said to myself, he is getting the business.
“How are you this morning? he asked. “You look great. How did you sleep?”
“I slept well, thank you.” I said to him, while saying to myself, I am hot and bothered.
He said, “Did you say something?” I said, “No.”
As he was standing at the stove flipping the bread, I knew then it was going to be good. I walked over to the stove hugged him around his waist and whispered in his ear, “Where are the molasses?”
He said, “Look up in the cabinet and set the table for us. Make sure I get as close to you as I can get, I want to share my molasses with you.”
“Ok,” I said, “I would like that.”
Breakfast was great; he did his thang on those hoecakes. I was sleepy again. I told him I was going to lay down on his couch and take a nap. He said, “Of course. If you don’t mind, I want to run out and look at this job and I will be back.” He gave me a nice blanket, I kicked my shoes off and fell asleep on his sofa.
It was so peaceful. I can’t remember when was the last time I had felt so much peace. He came back 2 hours later and we both laid on the couch and went to sleep. We slept through lunch and most of dinner. We woke up and ordered Chinese food, because neither one of us wanted to get up. we ate there on the couch and went right back to cuddling on the couch. I really felt at home in his arms, I don’t know if it was because I had been missing the comfort of a man or he just really felt that good to me. It didn’t matter, I just reached up and kissed him. And that was the beginning of our love story. But you have to stay tuned because I have ran out of time. Next story-line will continue with Brown Eyes and you don’t want to miss this story… I am telling you it is going to crack you up.
Read – PART 2: This is Going To Crack You Up (a Black Love Story)
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