My Quest for Love: Earth, Water, Air, Fire and Aether (Part 1)

(Image credit: Laurin Rinder)

You know the biblical saying, SEEK AND YOU WILL FIND, well it’s true. I know you’ve heard this from me many times, I have  learned my lesson, but just when I threw my hands up in defeat here comes Mr. Try Me I’m Different. Sure enough he had that one thing different. A different way of presenting himself. I know it’s my fault that I fall for the okey dokey but let me explain myself on this quest for love.

Though some people may believe that love doesn’t need any help to grow, I am one that has always thought that love was created by those involved, and needs to be cared for and nourished.  To gain some clarity on my theory, I studied the elements of the universe namely Earth, Water, Air, Fire, and (later) Aether, which were proposed to explain the nature and complexity of all matter in terms of simpler substances, like us. After careful study I decided Love has to be the 6th element. Then I thought maybe I take things too literally, but the innate need in me to know has taken control and in the face of death I searched for these elements that we all need to sustain us.

So lets talk about these elements and maybe this will explain my undying quest for love. The Fire, oh how dangerous the fire, it’s best to keep still during the fire because it can burn out of control very quickly. I remember the day I felt the fire. It was doing the break up with Mr. Sunshine. I was so heated at the way he had gone cold turkey on me. Then told me after a few days he loved me.  I was furious, I made sure to stay inside because I felt if I went outside, I would burn up everything around me. I know Rick James and Tina Murrell sang about Fire and Desire, but nothing compares to this element of fire that burns when a woman has had enough. This fire comes directly from the universe. Some people call it hate, but it’s not hate because I didn’t hate him. Caring about him prevented me from hating him. I was fed up with this mission of finding love and had reached the boiling point. I needed air, I couldn’t breathe.

Finally, after wrestling with the Angels all night, it allowed me to breathe a breath of fresh Air and it smelled good. After love fails there has to be a release of air and when love happens there has to be an exchanged of air, because it sets off a vibration within you that strikes chords and opens all your senses to the aromas of their spirit, but the spirit is not the soul and we have many spirits within us. I learned that we must be more mindful of who we exchange our air with. Some people are just not worthy of the air you breathe.

The Wind you would think is much like air but let me tell you honey, there’s no comparison. On my quest for love, I experience the wind. And have you ever been caught in a storm and had to walk backwards to keep the wind from blowing you away, well that is how I first felt the wind in me. It came during a time I needed to get rid of things in my life that were too heavy for me to carry or lift. I had to create a wind that would just blow them away. It was the hardest element of them all because like Lot’s wife in the Bible, sometimes you just want to look back and see what could have been, but it’s better to let the wind carry it away than to turn into a pillar of salt. There is no better way for me to explain turning into a pillar of salt other than to think of it as being of great disappointment or being driven to despair. ‘Blow, Blow, Blow The Man Down’ was a song we use to sing in school and it became very relevant in my adulthood.

Most of the time when we are in despair, I find that like Noah it has to be a flood in order for things to be destroyed and washed away. The Flood was an event that was caused by God in the book of Genesis in order to destroy the wicked people, but he had Noah build an ark to preserve the good people. During my quest for love I experienced the water on a spiritual level. Especially in relationships when you must take the good and get rid of the bad memories because if you don’t it will flood your soul. I remembered Brown Eyes on my journey and how the memories of us were once flooding my soul like an emotional wave… that’s when I had wished for dry land, and the earth to swallow me up and to make me again.

Funny thing when I was 9-years-old I ran up to the pastor one Sunday after church. I asked the pastor why did God make man out of the dirt? I could remember when I was younger I would play in the dirt and add water to the dirt and make mud pies and watch them dry in the sun. I thought it was kinda cool how it all stuck together. “Great question child,” the pastor said, “and I am glad you have an interest in knowing.” He got very serious and said, “Genesis 2:7 teaches us that ‘The lord God formed man from the dust of the earth and breathe into his nostrils the breath of life and man became a living being’. Now, know this, God could have chosen to create humans out of anything He wanted. However, He created man using both the universe natural material (dust) and its supernatural power to give humans a unique place in the world.” I felt that was special and it made sense as much as I could tell. It was in that moment I felt special and for the first time I had a connection with God.

This is when I felt the Aether…

(Stay tuned for Part 2 of the story to be published September 23, 2020)

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