Dr Phil’s 6 Quickest Ways to Ruin a Relationship

“In relationships, just as in every other aspect of life, the spirit and attitude with which you do things is at least as important as your actual actions,” says Dr Phil McGraw, author, former child psychologist and host of The Dr Phil Show which is based on real life strategies.

Most lovers are vested in their relationships, but somehow, keeping all pieces together can be a challenge sometimes. If you fall in the category of those looking for solutions and ways to keep your relationships happy, knowing what the warning signs are a relationship that is heading down-south could tremendously helpful.

How to keep your relationship from crumbling? Here are 6 quickest ways to ruin your relationship shared by Dr Phil on his show.

Do you control or abuse your spouse?
Partners who control and/or abuse the other tend to be violent, mean, degrading, and have an opinion about everything. They are dominant and insensitive. The other person finds themselves feeling beaten down, depressed, helpless and struggles with repressed anger. Doctor Phil attributes such unacceptable behavior (of the abuser) to deep-seated insecurities. He writes, “If you’ve always got to be right, then you’re ready to fight till the end. No truer words were ever spoken,” says Dr. Phil; “you will fight to the end…the end of your relationship. You can’t be self-righteous or obsessed with control and do what’s best for the relationship at the same time.”

Defining your relationship with jealousy and insecurities.
Always checking up on your spouse, calling their cell phone constantly and snooping around their emails, Facebook accounts and other personal spaces opens relationships up for hurt. This is sometimes an indication of a lack of trust and deeper underlying problems in the relationship.

Lying, and deceiving your spouse about important matters.
Relationships should be a partnership. Hiding financial problems, health issues and other important matters of the home and family from your partner can become a serious source of friction. Struggling to keep up with problems and fix them causes the partner to become angry and aggressive towards the one who is not in the loop. Dr Phil encourages open communication. “Be up font and forthright,” advises Dr Phil, “Strive to express your feelings in a mature and responsible way. By being honest about your emotions, you base your relationship upon integrity rather than lies and deception.”

Do you involve the in-laws inappropriately?
Sharing not-so-good qualities of your partner and unpleasant aspects of your relationship with those closest to you leaves a lasting impression on them and makes these loved ones dislike your spouse. They are not there when you make up. And while you may forgive your partner and plan to move on, family members continue to nurture negative feelings about your partner. Meanwhile, the resentment in your partner who feels unfairly judged grows because boundaries have been crossed and he/she feels his person invaded when loved ones try to protect you and interfere in your relationship.

Do you and your spouse fail to be a united parenting front?
Children know how to divide and conquer… and they are quick to pick up when parents are on different pages as far as discipline and parenting. This fuels ill feelings between the parents, especially the one who takes on a more disciplinarian role. On the other hand, the children involved get confused and grow up, not fully understanding the rules and why they should be respected. Kids model after their parents and mimic what they see and live. Never fight infront of the children.

Do you ignore your spouse’s intimacy and sexual needs?
The relationship in the bedroom is a direct reflection of your day to day relationship. There should be a natural flow when partners get intimate with each other. Women are more emotional and find it difficult to relax and go with the flow when they are feeling abused, insulted, disrespected, resentful, etc during the day. Discuss your needs with each other and remember that the intimacy aspect is just as (if not more) important as every other aspect of the union.

Keeping Dr Phil’s warnings in mind is a great way to avoid relationship pitfalls. We wish you happy relationships!

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