The Colorless Strength of Women Across Cultures

by Lema Abeng-Nsah, Twitter: @LemaNsah

I have been blessed to have interacted with different women from different walks of life, in different parts of the world, although I must admit that there’s still a lot to be explored. I grew up in Cameroon where I experienced life with the African woman in both the village and city, I have lived in the United States where I have interacted with black and white American women; I have had the chance to meet the Swede, the Finn, the Belgian and also the Nigerian woman. Always fascinated by people, I have often quietly watched her and I am amazed at how similar we all are.

Before I continue, I’ll like to mention a report I was reading the other day on Human Rights of Women: National and International Perspectives that made quite an impression on me. It clearly shows that women’s disadvantages across the world are based on basic structural injustices that exist in different communities, presenting a tangled web of issues that make all too important discussions about women’s ‘rights’ confusing as the challenges they face are similar but also different in various societal fabrics . Her situation is influenced by a wide range of factors that must be understood by the international human rights community in order to enact specific laws that protect women in different parts of the world.

In Africa, it was observed that “the severity of socio-economic problems faced by women in countries undergoing structural adjustment may require a basic needs strategy rather than a rights strategy.” In Asia, “the rights discourse is weak because it is believed to benefit the free, independent woman, while Asian women tend to be attached to their communities, castes, or ethnic groups“.

What is most disturbing is the fact that the oppression of women worldwide happens fundamentally because they are women. However, the International Humans Rights community stands united in it’s universal goal of eliminating all forms of subordination against women.

Whatever our differences in lifestyles and customs, the role of women tends to be similar across cultures. This has nothing to do with societal norms, or cultural expectations … but happens to be a fundamental link across the human race.

Here are the points that lead me to dedicate this first post on duniamagazine.com in 2011 to women across cultures.

As a disclaimer, let me be quick to announce that there are exceptions … few.

1. She is the nurturer of life
Yes, God is the giver of life; the woman is the vessel through which this life is manifested on earth. Few things have marveled human beings as much as the process of childbearing and childbirth. Isn’t it amazing that a human being nurses another in their body for 9 months and then brings them forth into the world? Most men, who have had the opportunity to witness child birth have admitted to being forever changed and speak of what a humbling experience it is to watch their baby being born and how they suddenly have a ‘different kind of respect’ for their women. 

While child bearing is a wonderful, priceless, unforgettable experience, let’s also remember that women lose their lives everyday during this process. According to a report by Childinfo.org, an organization that monitors the situation of children and women worldwide, “each day about one thousand women die worldwide because of complications related to pregnancy and childbirth. Developing countries account for 99% of the deaths. Two regions, Sub-Saharan Africa and South Asia, account for 87% of global maternal deaths.“

Still, the woman forges on in spite of the pain and other challenges she’s sure to face in the process. At this point, please permit me to honor the memory of a friend – Caroline N. – who died in Cameroon last last year due to complications related to childbirth. May her soul rest in peace.

Somehow, none of us is untouched by these occurrences. While scientists try to pin point risk factors associated with childbirth, such as The Age of Women at the birth of first child, the process is ultimately very similar for all women. Which leads me to salute HER courage and endurance.


2. She is the glue
While her role in society is certainly not limited to the family, the woman’s influence in the family (believed to be the basic unit of society) speaks volumes.

Regardless of any other duties she may have, her natural role in keeping her unit bonded cannot be denied – usually the first to wake up and the last to go to bed; the one who makes sure that family projects are executed, even from behind; the one who spends sleepless nights when her children or any loved ones are sick; the one who hustles to earn extra money for the family; the one who cries silently when her heart is broken, the one whose roles in society and in the family makes or breaks it. She is the backbone.

Often silent and of few words, the part she plays is not always glaringly obvious, it is only often ‘felt’ by the ones closest to her, those to whom her influence and strength are very real.

3. First to be blamed, last to be praised
She is often the scape-goat, the one the finger is pointed at when things go wrong. In instances when a relationship fails, or a man cheats on his wife, it is not uncommon to hear reasons such as: “SHE did not treat him right!” “SHE is not capable of taking care of her household.” “SHE cannot keep a man.” “SHE gained weight, so he went out looking.” SHE is this, SHE is that! How about when she is a victim of domestic violence? “… well, she brought it on herself, she deserves it!” Oh, upon walking into an untidy home of a man and woman, the first thought goes, “OMG, SHE’s such a slob …”

I believe women tend to be blamed when things don’t go too well, while men get the praise when success happens. Well, most of the time.

4. Soft pillow of security
The average woman is the one her family truly relies on, that soft and warm cushion everyone embraces. To her children she is ‘soft’ at the core, her touch always gentle, her voice soft … even underneath the hardness she may present to the world. Hers is an unselfish and steadfast love. Through the shifting sands of time, a woman’s love endures forever.

If you disagree with me, think about your mother, grandmother. Still disagree?  How about your wife, girlfriend, baby’s mother? If you can’t pinpoint some good women in your life …. you just may be in trouble (smile).

I find it difficult to conclude without adding that the song I Got Your Back by T.I. and Keri Hilson was song of the year 2010 for me, simply because instead of calling women b**tches and wh***res, she is appreciated for all she does. Although it speaks of the African American experience, the underlying message resonates across the board. T.I definitely gained some points for that.

Remember to say ‘thank you’ to the woman (or women) who have made a difference in your life.

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Lema Abeng-Nsah is a Speaker, Author, Mentor and Dunia Magazine Publisher. With over a decade worth of business building experience, she inspires, trains and mentors business minded individuals across the world. Lema blogs on Face2Face With Success. She is one of the main organizers of DUNIA Magazine’s women’s empowerment initiative ‘A Million Strong For The African Woman‘.

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